May 31, 2006
cry dry tears and wet me to the skin
i walk the roads that sisters once walked, a breadcrumb trail remains and the wind gently fill my pockets with the dust and the memories that rises from the shoes on my feet. i wish so hard the wounds were bound up. keep your castle in my sandbox. build it up and then you can burn it down. everynight i lay in bed and pray for the skies to untwine this wire im wrapped around... you know it. doctors know it. parrots and crows know it. i don't want you running in my veins no more. however you love me too bad. you love to keep me spinning sideways round and round, keep me feeding love from your hand.. how many times do i have to say to get away, get gone i dont wanna go down like the sunlight every evening. you just can't fade my paintings away and cut the kids in half like they were made of newspaper. you know it. doctors know it. parrots and crows know it. gosh, i'm sick and tired of my bitterness. everythings already sunken anyway.
good night, my love
remember me as you fall asleep.
rubie stone at 7:09 PM,
2 microdots
May 30, 2006
dial anweddus
2.4 grammes, typically 80 30mg tablets
unconscious in 5~15 minutes, death in 20~50 minutes
reliable with plastic bag and rubber band
use bag and band.
alcohol as well as antihistamine on an empty stomach.
people can become tolerant to this drug, and it will no longer be effective.
rubie stone at 8:47 AM,
1 microdots
May 24, 2006
i know i'm nothing because i'm ugly
i don't look in the mirror i don't like what i see staring back at me
everything is clearer i'll never see what you see
it's not me so beautiful and free
i'll never be what you need my love was so beautiful... now i'm ugly
i'm good enough, but i don't care. i know what is wating to die.
how you hurt yourself on the outside trying to kill what's on the inside.
that's why i pray for the beating to stop.
rubie stone at 7:16 PM,
4 microdots
May 20, 2006
what made the river so cold
you know you ain't going nowhere you're stuck inside while the mind is flying twisting on pins into my eyes and we driving on the ceiling below you facin' up the walls with your crocked hands while you're miles away miles away miles away
razor blades floating in the warm bath air bubbles in your veins turning my hands black whispers coming from the next room i try to talk to you talk to you from the other side of a wall in my mind and it's clear that you're near you're near to me you gotta face it head on so you can't turn this thing around cos this ain't right you have to go eye to eye raise your face to the sky cos this ain't right you got to believe when i say only this is the way it stops me from breathing and i can't feel my chest because it ain't much sucking through your skin into your brain oxygen pushing on the window cracks in the glass let it slip away i try to hold on till the feeling is gone i try to hold on till the feeling is gone i start to cry and i keep on laughing you close your eyes at what's left inside and then you run away run away run away
rubie stone at 11:30 PM,
3 microdots